Tomorrow my husband Peter and I will run the pump it up 5 miler in Jerricho. It was at that race, just a tad over a year ago, that I collapsed at the finish line and was take to the ER. The devastating news that the cancer was back, and literally in my back and pelvis, came on Mothers Day.
The journey out of the dark abyss has been treacherous, exhilarating, lonely and grace-filled. I’ve endured pain beyond measure and have witness miracles. I’ve seen the hand of God in friends and strangers; in birds and rainbows.
Last night there were more God glimpses at the Healing Winds fundraiser; an organization that takes Cancer Patients going through treatment out on Lake Champlain in a sailboat with their families. It’s a chance for everyone to get away, to bond, to forget, to heal. As I listened and watched the marvelous stories, I just couldn’t help the tears, the fear, the ” what if ‘s”.
Is the cancer gone or is it spreading? Will my back be strong enough to sit on the boat this year? Will we rejoice or will we cry? Anything but good news is unbearable to share with our boys.
I’ll have my answers on June 9th. My PET/CT scan is the day before. I’ve prayed and thanked God for my healing and I’ve tried to surrender. But I struggle. I’m human.
Daily God calls me to rise up, open my eyes, ears, heart and soul to tangibly experience His glory. And He calls me to consciously usher out the negative words that closely intertwine with a diagnosis of stage 4 metastatic cancer. It’s not easy, but it’s vital to my healing and yours.
Our minds are powerful. Every cell is listening. What are we telling our bodies?
Friends, our hope and victory rest in allowing God’s grace filled words of healing and peace to take the place of lies and fear. To keep our heads above the waves, we must surrender and trust and allow God to do what only God can do.
God did not promise a trial free life, but He does promise to do something magnificent in our lives.
Tomorrow, if God gives me another day on this earth, I will dress in the morning with joy remembering when I couldn’t. I will step on the start line with awe and wonder. And I will race, giving God all the glory. He has done miraculous things.
We each have choice. We can embrace this gift of a day or waste it worrying about tomorrow. Today I choose to joyfully embrace life, this very moment. Will you join me?