Lets face it, life is often a tumultuous, exhilarating, painful, growth induced, joy filled adventure. And I am so glad we don’t know what the future holds here on this side of the kingdom. God in His great mercy spares us from all the details. He does, however, give us glimpses of heaven on earth. He does give us the gift of salvation. And if we surrender everything to Him, even the darkest of circumstances are washed away in the light of the glory that awaits.
Yesterday as I tried to find a comfortable sitting position in my wonderful oncologist’s office, I heard that my red and white blood cells were nearly back to normal. My heart lifted. Then I heard the cancer markers rose yet again. This time they went from 304 to over 800. Normal is below 38. Instead of slipping into the dark abyss, I was lifted up, infused with hope and covered in peace and joy. It was a supernatural gift that came by surrendering my life. God has me in the palm of His hand. Perhaps the markers are high because the dendrite cancer vaccine is helping to kill millions of cancer cells. We just don’t know the exact answer as to why they skyrocketed. I am going to look at the glass as half full. I don’t care what the report says; God’s got this. And I still believe, as crazy and as impossible as it seems, that my miracle is coming.
I left the hospital and decided that despite a slight fracture in my hip and two in my ribs, that I no longer need a cane.
I will dare to walk boldly and my body will heal.
Your mind is a powerful thing.
I remember a long time ago, God telling me “You have the heart of a champion”. Those words have helped me rise up many times. They are helping me rise now.
I refuse to quit. I refuse to let negative reports rule my mind.
I entered the waiting room and spent some time giving out hugs and words of encouragement. I was simply compelled to be a beacon of hope, love and light. And I will continue this mission for as long as I have breath.
We all have a gift to give, a hug, a word of encouragement, a smile. Even in your darkest hour, you can be a blessing and by doing so, your light overtakes the darkness.
The sun just broke through the clouds as I lay here writing. My heart is singing as my mind recalls so many blessings. One being that just last year on this very day, July 12th, Peter and I were in Denmark. I had the great honor of racing for the USA in the age group Aquathlon World Championships. I’d just finished radiation to 4 tumors in the pelvis. The handful of times I’d run was painful. Still I chose to embrace the day, the opportunity and to throw off fear. After all, fear is a liar.
Jesus helped me swim through jellyfish and run without pain. It was miraculous. To discover that I was the top American with the fastest run is a testament to depth and breath of the human heart. To God be the glory.
I am humbled by the multitude of gifts I have been given. Amazingly, I am not lamenting that I cannot run or swim or bike or kayak or garden or climb mountains or
do many of the things I love to do. I am at peace with where God has me. He has prepared me for such a time as this.
Still God made me a warrior and I plan to get up and break new barriers. We are all stronger than we know.
Anything is possible and thus today my cane remains tucked away.
My faith with all your love and Gods remarkable blessings remains unshakeable.
I do not know the future holds and I am grateful for that.
What I do know is that I, like you, have the gift of today and it is beautiful.